Category: Uncategorized

  • January 8th, 2024

    I am taking down my Christmas tree, two days after 12th Night, on the 8th day of January, and I am thinking of my mother, who was the creator of Christmas celebrations in my family when I was growing up. 

    She was the first generation American in her family, with both parents immigrating from Sweden, and she brought to her marriage all the Swedish traditions of Yuletide celebrations—- evergreens and a fir tree in the house, packages wrapped in white and tied with red ribbon, a Yulbord on Christmas Eve. 

    When my mother was growing up, there were journeys by a horse-drawn sleigh across the snow-covered fields to midnight services on Christmas Eve at the little Lutheran church in central Minnesota. Santa arrived at their home to the tune of sleigh bells. Family gathered on Christmas Eve, and extended family gathered for Second Day of Christmas. 

    My father came from an English/Scots-Irish family in Arkansas, and I don’t think his mother made much fuss over Christmas at all.  

    But my mother did, and she inculcated her four children with the rituals of a Swedish Christmas, though we never celebrated St. Lucia’s Day. We carried my mother’s  traditions forward into our own families when we married. 

    All the ornaments now are off my tree, including the very old glass ornaments stored in a box labeled in my mother’s hand-writing, For Bill and Kristin. Now I am struggling with untangling the six strands of white lights from the tree, which has dried out terribly. It stopped taking up water at some point. 

    My lower back is hurting. I have to sit down for a bit. I am 81 years old, three years younger than my mother who died on this day, January 8th, 1992, thirty-two years ago. I was at the hospital when she died. My sister and my two children were were there, too. It was a bright sunny January day. 

    The last strands of lights are off the tree, and I spread a sheet on the living room floor, press my foot on the lever of the German made tree stand, and gently lift and lower the dried out tree to the sheet.

    I haul the awkward tree bundle out of the living room, squeezing past furniture, and out the kitchen door, thinking of my mother on this anniversary of her death.

     Not long ago, I read that a person’s life span is not measured by the actual number of years lived, but by the ripples they created during their lives. 

    If I look at the ripples my mother created with her Christmas rituals alone, those ripples will go on for a very long time.

     My older brother had two children, and they have four children total. I have two children, and they have three children total. My sister has two children and one of those sons has four children. Even if only small pieces of my mother’s traditions are carried forward, there are eleven in the newest generation to be the bearers. 

    I drop the tree bundle on the kitchen patio. It now is almost dark. Tomorrow I will put the tree up in a corner of the yard, to be a winter shelter for the little birds.

    I look up at the dark sky, and turn back to the house. Lots of clean up still to do. 

    January 8, 2024

    Kristin Moyer

  • Winter Dreams

    For those of you who grew up with winter snows:
    May your dreams be filled with the snows of childhood
    
     With snow angels and snow men
    
     With sledding on nearby hills and trying out new Christmas skis
    
    With the taste of brittle snow candy made by pouring hot maple syrup on fresh snow
    
     With the smell of wet mittens drying out on radiators
    
    And with the sound of snow falling softly all around you in the winter's night. 
    
    Sleep well, sweet dreams.

    January 2, 2024

  • Ritual of Candle Lighting: Joys and Sorrows

    November 5, 2023
    
    Lining up in silence while the music plays
    
    Holding the taper to the small candle in the sand
    
    Silent with joy or sorrow, intent on the job and the moment
    
    All woven fine
    
    And the tiny flame catches and glows
    
    And the candle passes down the ranks of the waiting
    
    To the old
    
    To the young
    
    To men
    
    To women
    
    To those of no gender at all
    
    To white, to black, to colors in between
    
    From hand to waiting hand
    
    Sometimes with a smile
    
    Sometimes somberly
    
    But the flame passes
    
    From hand to hand
    
    
    Kristin Moyer
    
  • Mother’s Day 2023

    Sitting under the snowbell tree--
    Around me the patio covered
     With blossoms the color of old bridal veils
    The sweet scent rising 
    
    I am remembering the birth of my first child 
    
    Brought into the world after hours of labor
    “Hello Tiny Tim!” said my doctor 
    And then they bore him away
    Not to be given to me until half a day later
    
    And my second baby
    
    Arriving like the whirlwind after induced labor
    Laid on my belly as they rolled the gurney 
    Down the hallway 
    “Welcome to the world, my daughter”
    My blood pressure dropping
    
    And no men allowed those days
    Relegated to the waiting rooms
    20th Century births
    
    The blossoms fall like gentle rain
    
    I pick one up from my lap
    
    It is as delicate 
    As lovely 
    As mysterious 
    As those babies 
    Born so many years ago
    
    
    --Kristin Moyer
    
  • Turning 80

    I celebrated my 80th birthday a month ago, and one of my friends asked me how it felt to be 80. Mostly I feel surprised and amazed.

    You would think I would know that 80 comes after 79, but I feel as though this 80th birthday came out of no where. It snuck up on me. I don’t feel 80, though when I see candid photographs I have to acknowledge that I am old. I don’t have as many wrinkles as some of my friends, but there is that jawline and the aging neck. 

    I also hear the clock ticking more loudly. Both my parents died in their early 80s. My mother had a heart condition, and I was recently diagnosed with a heart condition, too. I am trying to take care of that problem, with medications and a cardiac ablation, and I need to build my stamina back, too. 

    I have great plans for this new decade, but perhaps I will not get all ten years. The road behind me stretches back for many miles, and the road ahead cannot be as long…nor would I want it to be. But I hope to travel, to explore new places, to spend time in beloved places. I hope to self publish two books. I hope to spend time with family and friends. I hope to stay healthy and in my home.

    A dear friend told me that her rabbi gave a blessing to one of his congregants who was turning 80, and told the woman that according to Jewish tradition, she had now reached the age of strength—strength that comes from eight decades of life experiences and lessons.

    So I have reached the age of strength. May it be so. And may the road lead onward.

    Kristin Moyer

    February 3, 2023

  • Passages

    The tattered books are over fifty years old
    
    Thick board books, with moving wheels 
    
    Showing trucks and fire engines
    
    Beloved by my son
    
    And I hand them now to Kevin the store clerk
    
    Kind and caring to me at the wild bird store
    
    Whose little boy Henry was two yesterday
    
    And who likes books…
    
    That the adventure may go on.
    
    
    Kristin Moyer
    July 12, 2022
  • Summer, 1972, Washington DC

    Pre Roe v. Wade

    We lined up on the Mall
    
    In the hot summer sun and waited
    
    In our white dresses and slacks and shirts
    
    With our signs Freedom of Choice
    
    And finally the march began to move
    
    Off the Mall onto the streets, all of us chanting,
    
    Around a narrow corner where enraged faces
    
    Screamed and shook jars of tiny bodies
    
    Then onto Constitution Avenue
    
    And the marble dome of the Capitol 
    
    Floating like a mirage of Justice 
    
    
    Kristin Moyer 
    June 24, 2022
  • Deep Diving

    In the darkened room
    Gel cold on my chest
    
    “Hold your breath”
    
    And like a diver
    looking for treasure
    
    I hold my breath
    and turn my head 
    
    to see for the first time
    
    Beating for eighty years
    
    The chambers 
    of my heart
    
    
    
    May 5, 2022
    Kristin Moyer
  • Fall 1926

    The man walks down the lane
    Between the rows of elms he planted
    To the mailbox by the dusty road
    
    Opens the door on the box
    Empty
    No letter from his girl
    
    His first born child so little at birth 
    Tears had come to his eyes
    Fearing for her life
    
    But she survived and grew
    Smart as a whip
    A good girl
    
    Now off in the city
    Gone to college
    Too busy to write
    
    The man turns 
    Empty handed
    Chores to do in the barn
    
    No foreshadowing 
    Of the stroke that will come
    In the spring 
    
    
    
    Kristin Moyer
    For my grandfather
  • Web of Life

    March 5, 2022
    
    With every wedding we attend
    
    We are there again
    Facing our loved one
    Our hands clasped
    Faces aglow
    
    And with every deathbed we attend
    
    The river smooth or storm tossed
    We are there again
    Holding a hand
    Seeing the light fade
    
    held in this cradle
    Of memory and love
    
    
    
    Kristin Moyer