“You are amazing,” I said to myself out loud last night, after a very busy day.

And then I remembered: that was what Bill used to say to me. “You are amazing.”

Usually it was after I had decorated the living room for Christmas or created a flower arrangement for church or showed him one of my poems.

I started thinking about Bill’s affirmation of me, his appreciation of my talents and skills. What if he had told me I was ugly or stupid or worthless? I know some husbands dish out verbal abuse like that. After awhile, would I have come to believe those things? But Bill thought I was amazing and wonderful and brave and strong, so I came to believe his words.

My mother used to berate and belittle herself now and then, and that bothered me. Sometimes I do something stupid, and I tell myself, “Well, that was stupid, Kristin.” But it was the action that was stupid, not me.

Bill is no longer here to be my cheering squad, but I can cheer for myself so I will say it again.

“You are amazing.”

And I am.